I wanted to write about something that's been brewing in my brain for a while now, sort of an apology. I warn you in advance, this is a very strange apology letter, but it's one that needs to be written. So, to all the colours in the world, I AM SORRY. I am sorry for so many reasons, in fact, I'd like to list a few of my reasons below...
I'M SORRY FOR
- All the times I bad-mouthed you
- The things I said when I was shopping
- That time when I didn't think any of you suited me
- Not giving you a go
- Being stubborn and not trying new things
But mostly, I'm sorry it's taken me so fucking long to appreciate you. My Grandad always told me I look beautiful when I wear something bright and cheery, but being a moody teenager I always shrugged it off and huffed at anyone telling me how to dress. I'll still tell you to do one if you come at me with your opinions on what I wear, but I hold my hands up and admit I've been wrong all along about this one.
I feel like when I turned 23, I turned a chapter in my life. Birthdays never really effect me, or changed the way I felt. People always ask, 'how does it feel to be one year older?', I usually reply with an eye roll and a stern 'I HAVE NO FEELINGS TOWARDS IT BUT PLEASE DON'T REMIND ME!'. Classic birthday banter... But this year I did feel a little different, I felt like I grew up and learnt to accept myself more. I find myself challenging what I do and the choices I make, with a lot of things, but mainly my personal style. It helps that we're surrounded by so many amazingly dressed women, we have bloggers coming out of our ears and for me, that's constant inspiration to help me dress myself. This years really taught me to experiment and explore a wider colour palette.
JUMPER - MISSGUIDED | JEANS - ASOS | GLASSES - DEPOP
I'll always have my monochrome dress-code in the back of my head. Growing up with influences like Kurt Cobain and Ozzy Osbourne always made me feel safe in muted colours. I always thought, 'the day Ozzy rocks up in colour will be the day I make a change', because if he did it then I would too. I always trusted these icons to help me become who I am, they were my safety blanket and made me feel at ease if I saw them wearing anything similar to myself. Thinking about that, it's quite a silly thing, being so mad for someone that you'll count on them for style tips. It reminds me of when I first discovered Patti Smith, I read three of her books in the space of a week, I become obsessed. I decided I'd buy myself a pair of suspenders from the men's section in M&S and wear a plain white shirt from there on out. Obviously that didn't last long, I soon got attached to someone else. As you can imagine, my teenage years were a confusing time trying to discover who I was. But all in all the musicians and artists that surrounded me made me stick to black, grey and white. Damn you rock and roll!
I'm still guilty to being one of those people who adores their idols, I hold my hand up and say these individuals will forever inspire me. But, I've come to accept those with more of a more out-there take on style. I've always worn clothes that aren't that basic, glitter boots and extreme patterned shirts (Bowie helped me with that one), but it's time I took colour for a ride.
My wardrobe is becoming more eclectic, in fact, I wore an outfit the other day that didn't have a single black item in it - not even a leather jacket! I certainly did pat myself on the back for this.
I hope you accept my apology, red, yellow, green and the rest! I'm slowly learning to love you.