I’ve gone MIA again, it’s just one of those things I do every so often. I’m one of those people who struggle with little self confidence, which might seem crazy when I put myself online and constantly take photographs of myself. But, I really do lack a lot of self confidence. It’s mostly due to putting myself down and comparing myself to others, I’m a real sucker for that. I’m trying to get better and focus solely on myself and not everyone else around me. It’s hard, but I’m getting there and slowly realising that being positive really is the answer to everything.
I’ve been channelling positive energy into my new project, BOYGIRL. Which, if you haven’t seen already is a brand new creative agency that me and my partner have recently released. We've worked so hard building up a portfolio of work to show bloggers and brands, and since launching we’ve already smashed it on page views and clients. It’s going so well already and it will continue to grow with my positive vibes, and of course my partners. I’m lucky I have him for constant support and a shoulder to cry on. He is a firm believer in things happing for a reason, and I’m learning so much from that. Since I have been 100% positive towards our new business venture, it has been amazing. I just need to listen to my own words and say that to myself more, because when it comes to my own independent work, I just don’t think positively. Why? I don’t know. I know I am perfectly capable of doing so much, but I can’t help but put myself down all the damn time.
I struggled recently and decided to change things by making a new Instagram account, because I thought my old account had some bad energy and wasn’t growing. Since then I’ve thought how stupid that was and that I shouldn’t give up and should continue to try, try and try again. I’m an idiot, really. Why I always feel the need to give up is beyond me. I don’t help myself and really need to pat myself on the back and give myself a talking to when I really need it. At the back of my head I’m always thinking - what’s the point? But I don’t realise quite how damaging that is. As much as I am putting all of my time and energy into BOYGIRL, I also need to create balance and start thinking positive towards myself. If BOYGIRL is going places, then why can't I?!
The mind is a funny thing, isn’t it? We think all of these things about ourselves but if someone else says it, we will always tell them how silly they’re being. If one of my friends comes to me and says anything negative, I’ll be the first to tell them just how amazing they are. I can’t hear anyone speak badly about themselves, but I can easily say it about myself - crazy!
I’m turning yet another new leaf and decided to change a few things to hopefully make myself feel more positive and to help me boost my work ethic. I’ve gone back to my old Instagram account and I’m going to work so hard to grow. I’m mixing things up and posting three images from my blog, so that you can see plenty of my outfits and potentially reach new people by spreading more of my blog throughout the app. The three in a row theme might be dated, but I feel like I put so much effort into these posts, so I might as well share more of the imagery on my feed. With that, I’ve also re-joined YouTube - yickes! This was something I’ve been thinking about for months, and finally thought fuck it, let’s do it! I’ve dug up my old account and already posted two videos on my channel. I’ll be posting sit down, chatty videos as well as vlogs and any work we create for BOYGIRL.
These are small changes but things that will make me feel strongly towards my online presence again. I feel so great when I’m taking photographs and writing, and I need to stop putting myself down and quitting so easily. I need to eat my own words and do nothing put think positively - always!
I do talk about these subjects a lot over here, my blog is almost like a diary of sorts. I like to talk about my feelings, and I myself love reading relatable posts on other bloggers websites. I don’t want to be a constant ‘Debbie downer’, but it’s also important to speak freely and openly about issues we have.
I gave myself the boost I needed and went out on the weekend to shoot some of my favourite images of myself, ever. I put on my best, most ME pieces and we shot dozens of images for my blog and Instagram to really get myself back into the swing of things…
Talking and releasing some unwanted energy on a piece of paper (or in this case a blog) does wonders for the soul. I might mention this frequently but it’s good for me to let it all out when I feel the need! I’m going to stop taking a break and challenge myself to create, write and always think good things about myself. There is no longer room in my life for negativity and if I want to live a good, successful life then I need to buck my ideas up and remember how much I can achieve…
TOMMY X GIGI FLARES / NASTY GAL* CROP TOP / PRIMARK SHIRT / ALL SAINTS JACKET / SACRED HAWK HAT / TOPSHOP BOOTS / VINTAGE SUNGLASSES - SHOT BY THE UNIDENTIFIED ROCKER