-->

January 14, 2018

LEARNING TO LET GO




I've had many friends in life, those who I still consider to be close to, and those who have slipped right through the net of life. The ones you think about when you see a Facebook post telling the world they're newly engaged or moved in with their partner, to which you make the effort to congratulate them by having a light catch-up - don't roll your eyes at me, I KNOW you've done this before! It sounds savage, being so honest about it, but I think I've finally become a person that doesn't want to hold on to old 'friendships', because what's the point when you've moved on and so have they? I think you get to a certain age and it suddenly hits you, 'who are my true friends?', you start to eliminate the people you no longer want to spend your free time with and focus on the ones you do. When you become an adult you don't have a lot of time for socializing like you did in school, it's a whole different ball game now.




SHIRT - WASITE VINTAGE* | FLARES - TOPSHOP | HAT - H&M | JEWELERY - BLOODY MARY METAL & VINTAGE

In school you'd spend five days a week with 20 or more pupils, learning everything about them and who they are, then forming special connections with a selected handful. You were able to hang out after school, walk home together and play GTA non-stop until mum said it was dinner time. Now, I find it hard to switch on my XBOX for anything but catch-up TV in the background of a working situation, on my own. You'd be able to have fun all day on the weekends and be nothing but totally free, I'd head to the beach with a few of my friends, sitting in the sand dunes for hours listening to The Killers on repeat until it was finally time to get fish and chips, drag that on for a bit and wait for a call from my mum to tell me dinners at 7pm, not what I wanted after stuffing my gullet full on fried goods. But that was my early teenage years, nearly total freedom and no adult responsibilities. Friendship isn't an adult job, it's something we cherish and adore, but when you out grow your teens you start to wonder if you'll ever keep in touch with the people you had these memories with, or if they'd forget all about you once they'd moved off to new places. This was me, picture the scene... Just out of college, not wanting to spend another minute of my time studying, but watching all of my friends apply for University, getting in and leaving me on my own. It was a lonely time but one that certainly grew me as a person. What else was there to do but think?




My parents tell me it gets harder, your best friends form new lives, get married, have a baby and then you only ever see them for the celebration of a new life in their life, another person to take them away from you. It all sounds incredibly selfish and very doom and gloom, but it's the cold hard truth. You grow up, learn to let go and live your life as is, with a close knit group of friends while the rest is history. It's funny how we think our school friends will be best friends forever, we look towards the future and imagine living together, holidaying in a hot country and being each others Maid of Honor. That was all I wanted when I was fifteen, but now it's a very distant memory. We all grow up and most importantly, we change, more often then we think. I've grown to love change and enjoy new possibilities when they arrive, this included friendship. The past year I've made some great new friends, and I hope these stick. I'm 24 this year and I want to make all the time in the world for the best friends I have today, and learn to say goodbye the ones that have left my life for good. I'm embracing the new and not spending too much time thinking about the old, as I think reflecting on the past can be dangerous. That's not to say I regret or don't miss my old pals, I very much do. But it's also nice to remember those times for what they are and leave it at that. I'm a dreamer, I often go into a world of my own and think about my life all those years ago, while looking forward to new beginnings. New friends come and they go, but I'll be embracing every one that comes my way and treasuring it for what it is, whether it's here for the long run or the short. I think it's good to enjoy it and if it loses it spark, that's OK too, it's still a memory.






I've said farewell to 'BFF'S' and made new ones, and I don't regret anything because some people just aren't for me. Life throws obstacles at you and situations don't work out the way you think they will. Over the New Year period a lot of people were talking about making a conscious effort to get rid of toxic people, the ones that put you down and don't make your life enjoyable. This is a good way of thinking, who need's a bad friend in their life when they have others anyway? And if not, will be sure to make some a long the way. It's best not to get caught up in these things and think about yourself, because if there is one thing I've learnt in my (almost) 24 years of life, it's that we need to focus on ourselves more often. We don't need negativity surrounding us when life is hard as is, it's all about making it  as much as a positive experience as humanly possible.

I love everyone in my life right now, and I'm so excited to meet new people and see what the rest of my young adult life has in store for me. Now's the time when I'll be meeting the most inspiring and incredible people, and I couldn't be more ready for it. I've released my sadness about losing touch with old friends and keep reminding myself that the best is still yet to come...
















SHARE:
© CJ CARPENTER. All rights reserved.
Blogger Template by pipdig